The Re-education of Christy G or a call to love myself

I have not always been a huge fan of me. Sometimes, I am really hard on myself. I'm not thin enough, not all of my hair got dyed, my house isn't clean enough, I hardly ever wear makeup the list can go on and on. But why do that to myself. What's the point? It doesn't change anything. In Fact, most of the time it makes things worse.

I have at LEAST as many good qualities as I do bad. I am an awesome aunt, a good daughter, a loving wife. I am an excellent photographer, I sing and act well. All in all I'm a pretty cool person. I love laughing. So WHY is it, that for so long, I dread getting up and looking in the mirror? I sit and sulk cuz maybe I haven't been to church in a few weeks?

For so long I have been told I am not good enough. And I let myself believe it. Can you imagine?? I let other people dictate how I feel about myself. How lame is that? Who is in control here??? So I'm done. I'm done with hearing the bad and letting it sink in. I'm done with being guilted, because I don't look a certain way.

For the first time in my life I am proud to be me. I'm proud that I have lost 19 pounds. I'm proud that I'm doing it without the aid of herbs or radical diets or pills or anything. Me and Hubby are doing it. Portion control and exercise. I'm proud that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I'm proud to be smart. It is something that I should celebrate, not hide to make others feel more comfortable around me. I want to make one thing very clear. I am not losing weight to conform, because I don't want to look like another robot. I enjoy being different. I am losing weight because I need to be healthy. Period. The end.

This journey, the one I'm not only taking with food, but to love myself...I've learned somethings on this path. Some awesome things.

1. I am freaking awesome. I just am.

2. Healthy food doesn't have to be boring, monotonous or gross. It can be awesome.

3. Exercise is fun. I like walking. I like running to, I just can't do it for very long yet.

4. I can't hide from who I am, and I won't do it anymore. Because who I am is awesome (see #1)

5. I can do anything I put my mind to. Sometimes it takes hard work, but that only makes it more worth it in the end.

I'm sure there are more things but I'm out of time for now. Just remember I am find out who awesome you are. Share the love. Peace.

12 May 2011

1 Comment:

crystal said...

You are AWESOME! I have always thought so. Great job on losing the weight. You are doing wonderful.