Day 6 of 30

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

wow. This is like what's your deepest fear and I feel somewhat exposed. But I promised the truth, and the truth is what I will give. To tell the truth about this I have to go back before I was even born.

I have two older sisters. Kendra is the one I know. She is an awesome big sister. The other one, Dionne, we don't talk about much. She only lived for about six weeks. When I was younger, I remember celebrating her birthday with angel food cake, because she was mommy's angel. My mom's heart stayed broken. She was always there for us, and was the best Mom in the world. Still is. If I'm feeling broken down she's there for me. But, I always wondered what would be different if my sister had lived.

So the thing I hope I never have to do is bury a child. I can't imagine the grief my mother went through. I mourn because we are having a hard time having a child and I don't know if I could handle having a baby in my arms, and looking at her angel face and knowing that they are mine, and having that child just gone. No parent should have to bury their child. I have a couple of friends who are angel mommies and I see how much they hurt. I pray that I NEVER EVER EVER have to bury a child.

18 August 2011